When I told my parents that I wanted to be a writer two years ago, they clearly questioned my sanity. Some of my friends even laughed at me. Goodness, the feeling of having your dreams stamped by people who you thought would actually believe in you - well, you wouldn't know whether to be exasperated or just downright upset. It was probably a mixture between both. Immensely saddening.
Two years later, here sit I, amateur writer - top-notch scribbler - fan fiction dabbler - enthusiastic reader - doughnut eater - Converse-wearer - oh, whatever - still not nearing any particular goals for now, but definitely starting out on something which I think could be pretty great.
Or not.
A few days ago, I received a chapter of approximately five-thousand words from someone who read my profile, saw that I was a beta-reader, and decided to give my beta-reading services a shot. It wasn't that I particularly liked editing the work of others, but it was always interesting to see what they write - and hey, if I could help out, why not?
Anyway, I started the editing process.
Only, to, uh, find myself swamped down with amazingly long-sentences-turned-paragraphs, a lack of fullstops throughout, a misuse of various words, interesting errors, and a need for aspirin.
Anyway, I slaved through it for many, many hours before finally putting the finishing touches. I sent it back with a lengthy list of advice and explanations to boot, hoping she wouldn't hate me after that.
She wasn't the first person to get straightforward opinions from me. Many a time I give random advice to people out there, only to have them complain to me that writing is one of the hardest things to do - ever.
Well, let me tell ya' - it isn't.
I mean, I've been trying to figure out how Minesweeper worked for years. And up until now I still have no idea how to win the game without cheating.
Most of the people who complained are the ones who haven't really grasped the flow of the language - the story itself - or just the plot in general. Well, the first thing they have to do is to write. All the time. It doesn't matter whether they blog, scribble on papers, or just make lists. It doesn't matter whether they write about what time they woke up or when they went to school, whether it's about their hamburgers or their puppies - it doesn't matter. The main point is to write and write until the words flow naturally. That's the first step that all writers have to take. I mean, everyone has to go through that stage.
I actually wrote dialogues for the characters of Final Fantasy after seeing my brother playing it on PS2. From there onwards began my love for RPGs and the wonders of writing...
Writing the word 'jackass' at the age of nine was the best feeling ever. And yeah, the whole thing was riddled with grammatical errors, but like I would care about that. At that age, I felt no embarrassment. All I knew was that I liked writing.
There's something inevitable about many writers, though. Most of the time, we are loners. Not to say that we are the foreveralone type that tak suka bergaul, but we hate disturbances while writing and prefer focusing all our thoughts onto the characters that we're about to create. Yeah, basically, we carry out total isolation when necessary. It's an arduous process that makes many writers cranky and unapproachable, especially if one whole night is spent on thinking and nothing seems to come out right. Ouch. Writer's block indeed.
One more thing - many writers are sensitive people. Not all of them are, of course - but many of us are. My mum complained that I was too sensitive. I was so angry that I couldn't even speak a word, but now that I think about it, if she ever says something like that again - I would have the perfect comeback for her already.
We are sensitive people because we have to be sensitive while writing. We have to view the world through our character's eyes - not through our own. We have to peel through our characters - layer by layer - just like onion-peeling, to see who they really are like. Could we really do that if we weren't sensitive to the emotions of others to begin with? Could we really tear down walls and build up captivating stories if we weren't sensitive? I'm not talking about journalism - that's something where personal opinions aren't allowed - but true fiction. Fantasies, sci-fi, romance, anything that isn't nonfiction. All these need the correct characters that readers can relate to - and they're the key to a successful story.
Are stories mere words on paper? No, that's not it. If stories were mere words on
papers, then tell me why do people get so crazy over books and movies?
There's more to words than it seems.
Not that I'm complaining, though. Why bother about what others think? Nowadays I just grin at them if they don't get it. Besides, I have found many others who enjoy writing as well. There's a certain kind of kinship, and I like it.
There's no point talking like a supreme professional. I'm far from being one, and there's a long way to go.
I haven't been able to win anything big yet.
I haven't been able to truly prove myself yet.
I'm still looking for the opportunities - regardless of whether there are any or not.
I just wonder where I'll end up in the future. I read an article a few months ago about an academic-ghostwriter, who does the work for university students for a high fee. The thing is, people love his service - and since he writes so well, they don't mind paying him. He said he didn't choose this profession by choice - but since people only saw him at that value, he had no choice.
After reading that article, I had a vague flashback to my Form Four days. A senior - a Form Five one - had requested for my essay-writing services. After seeing an essay that I wrote, he was impressed - and made me do his other essays as well whenever necessary. In return, I made him pass to me his music collection.
I just don't want to end up being an academic-ghostwriter, that's all. I don't want to help make people look competent. Beta-reading is a different story - there, I aid them in editing. But academic-ghostwriting? I have to do the whole thing, from scratch. It's cheating. It isn't right.
Anyhow, it seems that I have to work harder.
Like I would ever give up now.
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