Blue Sky.

 I didn't intend to compose a song on a Sunday afternoon.

Heck, I never knew I could even compose one. When I was younger, I played, slaved, cursed, throttled, and let off all the unwanted steam on the piano - but never did I even think about composing. 

But as I was just pressing random notes on the keyboard, the switch just came on and then it happened. The inspiration. It just came - abruptly. And of course I was surprised, because I never had any particular musical inspirations when I was younger. Ideas for a story? Sure. Thoughts for an artwork? Yeah, that too. 

But music? Never.

But I went with the flow and thus the song was made.

And it didn't have a title for a few hours.

I couldn't really decide for some time, really. But when I played the song...I felt that if there was anything I could feel from it, it was freedom. Endless freedom without any boundaries.

Art, music, language - they never have boundaries, do they?

Just like the sky. There are clouds, and the colors change from vivid hues of red and orange to the velvet purple of midnight. 

'Blue Sky' seemed appropriate, so up it went.

And to my happiness, a friend of mine who listened to it claimed that he could envision a blue sky and clouds floating across it peacefully while listening to it. Yes, I was happy - he was a close friend who appreciated music, and was also out to compose his own songs. I had a long chat with him about the technicalities of music, and then we were back to recommending good songs to each other.

I miss his singing. He was always amazing in that. 

 But the best thing of course was showing it to my mum through Skype.

I never had a great relationship with my parents during my teenage years, but after she listened to the song, she told me that she loved me. I was so taken aback that I froze in front of the computer screen for a few seconds.

I couldn't say those words back to her. I just couldn't. It wasn't like me to do something like that - I was you know, the one who was baaaad in expressing myself through real-life situations. I could write those three words in an email, yes, but saying it out...? I just couldn't. 

Damn you, Anne. 

Anyways, other than that, Monday was the usual. Pretty much the same.

With some snappiness to boot. 

But it's still New Zealand. The air still tastes like freedom, and I still like where I am at. And of course, I'm still waking up every morning without any regrets to having made such a decision.

It's not like I'm a faker. Or a liar. Or someone who just pretends.

It's just a desire to change. And it's not like I could change anything that has happened in the past.

Is that too much to ask for?