Skip and step

I've always prided myself as someone who knows what to go after in life. I'm unsteady, inexperienced, hasty and obnoxiously proud. But what's the point in chasing after a dream if you don't even take chances? What's the point if you sit there forever and let opportunities pass you by? Am I being twisted in wanting some form of recognition, no matter how small it may be? Would it be ridiculous if I said I craved it not for my own pride, but for my own future?

Facts are facts, details are details. The thing about dreams is that you have to go about them systematically - step-by-step - starting out slow and working to the top - not to mention that luck is needed at times to pull yourself up along the way. Another annoying fact would be that not all dreams stay the same forever. They morph around sometimes according to your wants and needs - to the point of you not recognizing what you originally wanted when you first started out. 

But that's alright - because really, there's no one else to blame in the end but yourself. 

I've known, all along, that it's impossible to please everyone in the world.  Half the time people are going to find you ridiculous, hopelessly naive, or, as my mum pleasantly put it, "unbecoming". I am unbecoming. I am unbecoming because I choose to do something instead of allowing fate to control my life. I am a hopeless glory-seeker because I'm keen in making a difference for myself, instead of waiting for chances to just drop from the sky. 

Anger is present. Anger is natural. But behind that lies a desperate yearning for the ones physically closest to you to believe in you so much that it hurts. You don't need their pride, you don't need their praises. All you want is for them to believe that you are working hard and that you can make them proud someday. You no longer throw irrational tantrums, you no longer cry in front of them. You are hardened, a warrior who is detached from needing their emotional support in order to go on. 

You, who have learned so much from the you in the past. 

You don't need to be perceived as their hero, since you'd be better off fighting for yourself. 

...

That's right. I'm unbecoming, and I'm proud of it.