It is always better to be the puppeteer than the puppet, for the puppeteer controls the situations - dominating the actions of others, controlling their feelings, doing as they please. If you are the puppet, then you're at the puppeteer's mercy. Whether your heart shatters or flutters in joy depends your puppeteer - you can only sit back and hope for the best.
It's ironic for as much as we would all want to be puppeteers, we end up being the puppets instead. We're controlled by the many things in life that we struggle to control by ourselves . Technology, money, and our very own feelings are merely examples. We also try to control who we'd like to have closest to us and wrestle with our own actions just so we can control our future. We try to control the skies, we try to control others, we try to get the people around us to conform to our opinions without seeking to understand theirs.
Is it a wonder why the modern soul feels so haunted? We lack the essential things we want in life - mainly love, success, and joy - yet we thrive on baseless relationships, harmful thoughts and narcissism in order to survive. We are controlled by our very own selves, and try as we might, there doesn't seem to be a way out. This is how the world works, and there's rarely any sympathy out there. You can't get much out of yourself, so you seek out others in order to complete you. You crave for something so much, yet toss it away so easily as soon as you obtain it.
Well, fuck logic. It's just ridiculous.
I must admit that I'm more a puppeteer than a puppet. I never really knew it back then, but I recognize it in myself right now. The domineering streak, the outspoken personality, the urge to smash people in their faces. Definitely a puppeteer. However, being a puppeteer doesn't mean much until you actually control something - and being able to control something doesn't necessarily mean it'll fulfill any of your twisted, warped desires for love and happiness. It could probably just mean the opposite. Well then, just how successful of a puppeteer have I been?
The answer is that I've succeeded without actually trying. And of course, I'm by no means contented with doing so. It's nothing to boast about. If anything, it's shameful - for I have tricked, betrayed and hurt them so much without actually realizing it until it's far too late. They get sucked into the trap and then they lack a way out.
But I'm by no means that cruel. I've given them a way out. Heck, I've even done the signposting and have shoved them to it, but they refuse to get out of the shit they they got involved in in the first place. Stupid, stupid people. How can they not see that there will never be a happy ending if they continue being tangled up in my web of lies? I'm not one to be that upfront about it - in fact, I'm pretty subtle - but even they shouldn't be that ignorant. Do I have to smack the facts into their faces, I wonder? What would make them just come to an abrupt realization? Have I not tried hard enough to warn them away?
It seems that I'll have to forcibly cut the strings away someday, and it'll be done for their sake. I want them to realize on their own, to disentangle themselves from the strings and walk away into a better future - but unfortunately, they just refuse to do so.
Puppets cannot stand on their own without their puppeteers, though, and this is another fact that troubles me greatly. Do I have to make sure that they get ensnared by other puppeteers who are kinder and more passionate than I am?
What a disgrace. It seems that even by forcibly isolating myself from the crowd, things can still happen.
How cruel do I have to be for them to understand?
I listen to their words, I see what they type, and it all burns me with guilt. I know that I have to cut them loose - in fact, I've already done so to a lot of them. And yet they just don't know how to avoid jumping into the flames even though it's blistering their fucking skin!
It has been far too long. Maybe I'll have stab their hearts once more just for them to come to yet another forceful realization.
Puppeteers can manipulate and kill your spirit. Fucking remember that.
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