2013

New Year's resolutions, hm. 

Every year, I have my resolutions.

Every year, I fail to fulfill quite a few of them. 

Thus, this year, I shall not be stupid. As in, I'll stop making resolutions that I absolutely cannot keep. "Stop swearing" is one of those impossible ones, so I'll just forget about it. As degrading as my swearing can be, I guess it's alright as long as I limit it to mates. I control myself pretty well nowadays since projecting a more professional image's important - it's like a responsibility of being an adult and all. 

Right. Let's get on with the list.

1. Advance further in the writing dream.
   
   Being able to write for YILB is seriously a dream come true. I never would've thought it possible. Writing for them is enjoyable, not to mention everyone works as an effective team with editor-in-chiefs, college reps, and a social media group. It's exciting, and I can't wait to experience more.
   
   Will Yilb it up as things come.
   
   Then of course, Anne, you really have to start out on an original novel. Fanfiction isn't going to sell, and you've been there long enough. 'Sides, your dream is to write something that could inspire everyone. Start early - get on with it.
   
   And if you could win like a couple of small writing competitions, that'd be pretty cool too.
   
   
2.  Handle the double degree with as much grace and efficiency as possible - good grades and shit.
   
   Which basically means, less frustrating issues of last-minute studying. More note-taking, more concentration. And of course - this goes without saying that I have to do the best I can in my results. I'm definitely looking at A grades, plus grades that allow me to make the top two-hundred students entering second year Law. Come on, Anne, look at Oxford. You will apply after your degree. Promise.
   
   Law, English and Politics - come at me, bro. I'm fired up for everything, I'm motivated. Let's get that term started.
   
   
3. Maintain a healthy sense of self - physically and mentally
   
   It really isn't a big secret that I have some seriously messed up opinions, but that doesn't really matter. What I have is what I have, nothing much can be done about that.
   
   What I need to do, however, is to maintain this sort of thinking. Acceptance is the first step, maintenance is the second. It won't be easy, but I'll have to do it. With that kind of workload this year, it'll take a lot to stop me from breaking down. I'll do the best I can to stay motivated while making myself feel confident at the same time. This also means being more independent - and less whiny.
   
   
   ...

And seriously? This is about it for now. Of course there are the usual things I'd love to do - traveling, saving up on cash - but those aren't exactly on my priority list. For the time being I'm still relying heavily on my parents, so I don't have the right to talk about anything cash-related. Fall in love? Well, that's not a priority of mine either. For the time being I am contented with myself and the freedom I have. The breakup I had a few days ago alerted me to the fact that being on my own can be quite a blessing - and no way am I interested in tying myself down to a person who talks about marriage and who is angry when I don't text at least once a day. When the time comes, it will come

I have my goals. I have my aims.

That, to me, is the most important thing now. 

Where we start anew.

2012 may sound horrifying to others - no thanks to the official movie, more conspiracies, the media, and everybody who's convinced that they're a doomsday specialist giving our their (sometimes quite) believable reasons on why the world will be ending this year.

Are you one to believe that the world will be ending in 2012? I wouldn't - for the simple reason that they've been predicting the world would be ending for such a long time - especially during years like 2000 and 2010. The only reason why the hype has increased this year would be because of that movie - which I re-watched over and over again. Three times, I think.

But I guess having a 2012 propaganda wouldn't be so bad either - because people will actually start living like it's their last. For years, many people (me included) have not been living life to the fullest. I mean, it's not that procrastinating is a good thing - but procrastinating is more acceptable than just refusing to live life fully. And for a long time I lived my teenage years - I existed - but I never really lived it.

It'd be great if everyone lived, dreamt, and hoped. What we need is more of these positivity, and always use them to pick others up when necessary. Of course it's impossible to smile all the time - sometime along the year we'd be seeing some tough challenges, but that's why we have each other.

The feeling of being helped up when you're flat on the ground - it borders around curiosity and happiness. We have to pick others up. It's just insane not to. Especially during a year like this where turmoil seems to be ready for a rampage - we need to be even more prepared.

It'd be nice to have each other, no matter how distant it would be.

For now, I think all of us have our own personal goals to pursue - both personal goals, huge goals, smaller ones. It's going to be a year of discovery and new journeys. Technically, technology has made journeying less thrilling and definitely less poetic. In the past there would always be an unknown waiting. Green hills, rough seas, princes and princesses, dungeons and dragons. Nowadays it's a plane, and you'll be on the other side of the globe.

No more adventuring. Almost every corner of the globe has been dug up and explored by archaeologists.

But I guess it doesn't matter. A new experience is still a new experience.

There are quite a few things to do before going over, though.

• Complete StuffAtSchool challenges (which I'm thinking of forfeiting, because by right I shouldn't have been allowed to participate in the first place - but I told them I was going to New Zealand and they still let me through the preliminaries. The logic is messed up), and for that, I'll be heading back to CHS tomorrow to discuss several issues with teachers.
• Email Canterbury University to tell them I can't accept their offer (can't believe I haven't done this yet).
• Quickly renew my Tertiary Account, or I'll be charged extra during cash transactions in New Zealand.
• Pass books to juniors tomorrow, and another load on Gerko Day.
• Finish the photo book of my siblings' graduation. Thanks a lot for the creative input, parents - but stop expecting miracles from me just because I know how to use the software.
• Buy a PHD, head phones, ear phones - any other equipment that I may need.
• Clear out all personal info and history on the public PC, disable admin status.
• Clear out all personal things from my room. What am I to do with all the papers I've scrawled on over the years? Will have to pass them on to people...especially the slightly spicy stuff.
• Create a simple guide from all my parents because they're hopeless when a printer sticks itself or when the mouse cursor won't move across the screen.
• Send all the new haul I got from shopping to the laundry.
• Update music library.
• Finish beta-reading story chapters from others.
• Reply to long emails from USA acquaintances.
• Pick up certs and class tee from Benjamin. Oh my goodness, I have totally forgotten about this one!
• Update my stories online. They're already bugging me to do it!

Yeah, quite a few things. Make it a whole long list. No matter how old I am, or whether I've graduated or not - there's still plenty to do. It's better than hitting the books for SPM, though. That was torturous. At least I'll enjoy these tasks a little more.

Some people will be starting NS tomorrow, whereas some are hitting the college orientations. Doesn't it seem so surreal - that everybody are heading for their destinations? Already I have a few friends who are at UK and Aussie - they'll be facing some challenges, definitely. I'd love to hear their experiences.

But for tomorrow, head over to CHS first. It's time to get all these sorted out, one by one.

Life's an incredibly long journey, but I'll make it work.