Crash and burn, baby.

This is how I feel while I go through my driving lessons.

I am so bad in it holy fucking carrots I don't even -

I want to learn how to drive using auto cars. NOT MANUAL CARS.

Not cars that sputter and die while I panic, flail and spazz in the middle of the road and the instructor screams like a lunatic next to me. Not cars that have heavy as fuck steering wheels that make me sweat and pant like a heavy gym workout just trying to turn that massive thing for four successive rounds. Not cars that need gear-shifting every single time I start moving after a traffic light. NOT CARS THAT ARE SO DAMN DIFFICULT TO HANDLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I am not good in this. I acknowledge the fact that I'll turn out to be an awful, awful driver. I'm not a hands-on person. I know how bad I am when it comes to practical shit. I know other people learn at a faster pace than I do. I'm slow, I'm not quick in responding - FINE, I KNOW THAT. Apparently playing GTA didn't help at all, but whatever. I'm still trying, alright? No need to yell at me. No wonder you told me some of your students cried. I wouldn't be surprised. And stop asking why I giggle in an uncontrollable manner while I'm  driving. I AM NOT GOOD IN THIS, OKAY? And that is how I cover my nervousness and inferiority. I LAUGH. I laugh like I've totally snapped. It's absolutely enlightening. You should try it.

Beware - major caps lock up ahead like some whiny bitch. 

"FEET ON THE CLUTCH." 

"STRAIGHTEN THE CAR. STRAIGHTEN IT!"

"WHY CAN'T YOU REMEMBER HOW TO PARK PROPERLY?"

"I am fucking trying, dumbass," is what I want to say. "OH GOD BOLLOCKS STOP TALKING ON THE FUCKING PHONE WHILE I'M AT THE RISK OF CRASHING INTO A CAR IN FRONT OF ME AND STOP GIVING ME WEIRD HAND MOTIONS I DO NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND. I DO NOT COMPUTE. DO. NOT. COMPUTE." 

Yes, he seriously just expects me to understand what he's signalling with his hands while he blabs away on the phone with his friends. I understand speech, my dear, not gestures. If you make me panic, I will lose my cool, the car will die because it's a fucking manual car, and I will lose my cool even more. Not a good situation. 

...I'm really not good in this. This is pathetic. 

I don't even know how I managed to drive all the way from my house to the driving center's headquarters in Segambut, KL. I have no idea how I managed to get on the highway, cruising at a maximum of 60km/h, changing lanes without actually killing someone, dealing with the 4pm crowd we Malaysians are so familiar with, and even managing to execute some pretty decent gear-changing under such a shitload of pressure.

It must be a fucking miracle.

But then again, it was all by chance. Most of the time, I cursed, shifted to the wrong gears ("HOW CAN YOU GET TO GEAR FOUR FROM GEAR TWO? PAY ATTENTION!"), stopped when I shouldn't have had to, and had the engine sputter and die magnificently on me. 

I suck so badly that it makes me laugh.

In fact, I was so distracted that at the toll booth, I exclaimed a loud " 谢谢" to the Malay girl instead of "thank you" or "terima kasih."

What? Don't give me that fucking incredulous look. I was at China for a week, okay? I got China-fied. Just for a little while.

"NOT  谢谢!" The instructor roared, torn between sounding exasperated and amused at the same time. 

"Oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "Terima kasih!" 

My instructor couldn't stop laughing for two minutes after that.

...Fuck. 

How am I going to pass next month's driving test? I'm going to fail. Really badly. 

I don't even have the mood to blog about China anymore. 

  

My next class will be at 7am because the other times are full. GODDAMMIT AT 7AM I WILL REALLY KILL SOMEONE AT THAT TIMING BECAUSE I WILL BE DRIVING LIKE A DRUNK. 

I am certain of it. 

Wait for the news, my dears, wait for it.  

The August

I know, I know. I haven't posted for quite some time. How incredibly irresponsible of me. Now there's loads for me to update and this post will probably be long. For now, let's start off with some photos. 

I went to Queenstown and went snowboarding. Foundation year had organized this whole skiing plus snowboarding trip, and I had spontaneously signed up despite not knowing who would turn up. Basically, on the night before the trip I was all "OH FUCK WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS" while throwing clothes into my bag in this awesome, haphazard manner. What else could I do? The mid-terms had only been over recently, and my friends had smothered me with gifts for my birthday on the 9th. I hadn't had time to pack, but pack I did.

I didn't regret going for the trip, though. Why? Because it was fan-fucking-tastic, that's why.

Sheril. She was incredibly supportive when I lost my ski pass and locker keys while snowboarding like a goof down the slopes, even volunteering to come along and help me look for it.

We even had time to walk around the city centre at night. I had my fair share of beer just for the heck of celebrating the joys of turning eighteen.

Tim.

Maryam.

As I've skiied before (Korea! 2004!), I decided to try out snowboarding. Those shoes were a huge pain in the ass as they were stone-heavy, making a simple task like walking incredibly arduous. I basically stumbled around like some half-drunk in them, and learning how to strap them onto the board was difficult.

And was it hard to keep my balance. I did get the hang of the basics of snowboarding soon enough (after a series of disastrous falls), but by then I was bruised, battered and incredibly worn. Some dude in our group had even broke his arm. We fawned over his cast, and he didn't seem to mind. 

I made a couple of mistakes throughout the trip, though. Firstly, I hung my leather gloves over the heater, assuming that was the best way to get it dry. Hell. I should have anticipated the consequences. There was a large ugly burn mark on the heater, and my gloves smelled funny. I gaped with a typical "what-the-fuck" expression before going into rage-mode. 

Because we had six people in a room and everyone had different priorities. It was the fasting month, so Sheril and Maryam had to pray and wake up at all sorts of timings. They woke up at 6am, effectively waking me up in the process. 

"Turn off the lights," I grunted. Thankfully, they did just that.

And by 7am one of our alarms went off. I assumed someone was going to turn it off, but the owner never did. It went on and on for five minutes until I screamed from the top of my bunk, "Will someone just turn that fucking clock off? I'm gonna kill the fucking owner, I swear."

...Well. I'm just not that great in a mood everytime I wake up. 

"Hold on," Sheril said hastily. "I'll find out where it's coming from." She moved about and I heard rustling. Finally, she said in an odd sort of way, "Uh...Anne? I think this alarm's yours."

It really was mine. I had set my own alarm and forgotten about it in the process. Bollocks. I had never been more embarrassed ever in my life, although the girls there all thought it was the funniest thing they've ever seen.

And finally, the worst mistake of my life was going onto the advanced snowboarding/skiing slope when I couldn't even master the basic slope.

The weather had been awful that day. It was snowing heavily, and the wind was blowing hard. Everyone else had worn hats except me, and my hair was basically freezing in chunks. I wanted to scream bloody murder, but then Tim, Tom and Tong (kinda rhymes, doesn't it?) asked whether I wanted to have fun at the advanced slope. I was like, well, no. 

Of course, I changed my mind.

And boy, I probably had the time of my life. I was whizzing down the hill so quickly and had to forcefully stop myself from zooming off the mountain, which resulted in me constantly landing into hard snow, and in some cases, rocks. I crashed into flagpoles that stuck out of the snow multiple times, and that had hurt like a real bitch. At one point I could even taste blood in my mouth, which meant that something was probably cut. Or broken. Thankfully, it was just the former.

And now, here's just to show all the stuff I received for my birthday. Prawwan had so nicely drawn me USUK fanart, and I had responded by drawing Shizaya. *grins* 

Vei's postcard is somewhere up there too. *points*

Basically, I had the most amazing 18th birthday. Ever.

With the amazing songs my friends sang, their gifts, and the ski trip - yes, it was definitely be the most memorable birthday ever.Willa had given me some expensive soap. When I had stuttered and asked why, she said that it was a crime for me to be using two-dollar bathsoaps. I had retorted by saying that two-dollar bathsoaps worked well enough, thank you very much. But of course I was happy to receive her present. She had spent the time and effort - and I was thankful. Eden had given me a book that I've always wanted to read for months.

Christy was brilliant, of course. She baked a whole tub of orange peels and offered everyone a piece. I had taken the remaining back home and shared them with my host family, who had decided to buy me a cake. They were all incredibly nice, and I was warm and contented too. It's not often that the fuzzy, happy feeling worms its way into your heart - but when it does, it comes on pretty strong. And that was what I felt.

Seriously, it was amazing.

And then I made some art for an art exhibition. It took me a couple of days to think about what I wanted to do, but when I did, I visited the art shop and bought a whole bunch of supplies back home. That included an expensive $24 fixative.

P/S: The remaining art supplies are all with Eden now. Gave it all to him since I doubt I could carry it all back home to Malaysia.

A charcoal rose, aaaand...

A fairy-girl-thingy-with-wings and a balloon.

Honestly, it wasn't meant to turn out like that. HONESTLY. It was supposed to look a whole lot more mature, for mature people. It wasn't supposed to look like something out of a fairytale story book!

But of course, I just had to mess it up. Like reaaaally, Anne? Couldn't you have done better?

The auctioning will be on tonight. I hope someone buys it for charity's sake.

My throat hurts like sonofabitch. Wish it'd just stop. Fuck. 

Off for now,
Anne

Renaissance Rapier

I had heard that there were always things to do in the university. The building of the Students Association was just at the library's opposite anyway - so I just went to check it out. That was probably a few weeks ago, where I was still fresh and new to everything around me.

Apparently there were a range of short-term courses available for everyone. From the basic basketball matches to the more sophisticated French culinary, coffee-brewing, belly-dancing or drumming - one could just pay and join for a few weeks. You wouldn't have to commit yourself for anything too long-term - not any groups, not any clubs, plus you would get to learn something new. 

That was all good, I thought. Now, if only there was something that could interest me here...

And that was when I saw it.

Renaissance Rapier.

The two words seemed to call out to me. 

(More like, the influence of Assassins Creed and the Three Musketeers.)

Oh, hell. I signed up immediately without a second thought.

...

Well, yes, today was the first session. Needless to say, I was nervous. What if I was the only one there? What if this, what if that? Buggar. I couldn't stop worrying. How typical of me.

Guess what? My worst fears came true.

Firstly, there weren't many people there. Thanks to the fact that Renaissance Rapier was a sophisticated sport that required a lot of individual attention from the instructors themselves, a small number of students was vital. In fact, only another girl, a tall guy, and myself were the newbies. The rest of them were either in the Renaissance Rapier club, or were quite experienced already. 

It didn't help that I was the youngest.

Or the smallest.

...Ffuuuuuu.

Still, I couldn't help but gape in awe when we were allowed to grab a sword each. The patterns were genuinely like something out from a movie, and that weight was definitely something. My hand felt like it was about to fall off just holding it, and the idea of me being able to swing that around seemed impossible. 

At least, that's what I thought.

But you'd be surprised what stubborn Anne could do under these circumstances.

I was genuinely enjoying myself. Footwork, thrusting with the sword, guard positions - that was funfunfunfun and it was screaming fun. I was effectively de-stressing, and that made it even more worthwhile. Thanks to the Taekwondo WTF days, I could perform the basics of basic stuff - like shifting my weight easily from one foot to another while moving forward, bending my knees for a long period of time, etc etc.

Good, clean, fun. 

In a few weeks time, I would have the option of participating in real combat. Lovely.  I've always wanted to fight with a sword.

Assuming if I can, somehow, y'know, hold a sword up without even feeling tired in the first place. That would take some time getting used to. In fact, my arm feels numb right now. I can't even...type properly without having shaky fingers.

I won't forget what the instructors told me.

"Now, assume you are unsheathing the sword..."

"In the next few weeks, we'll teach you how to fight with two swords...and even use things like batons and cloaks to your advantage."

FUN.

I went back home today with a bright smile on my face.

Yes, yes. I can't wait. Just this one session totally took all the crappy feelings I had away. It's even better than the gym. 

What can I say?

It's just about trying something different.

Random drabbles before a computing exam.

 Because I'm lifeless like that.

 

The smell of coffee always lingers in the air whenever I walk past the junctions in the morning.Warm, freshly-brewed - incredibly tempting to the average university student, braving the cold with hands shoved in their pockets. 

The wind always sounds so miserable whenever it howls. It's not that I didn't expect it, but the way it whistled throughout the building made me first think that it was the sounds of someone dying or screaming in pain. 

 

 I don't get it. Autumn should probably be more beautiful than that.

 

Not that it's a gray, flat world. No, not yet. The colors of autumn have begun to appear, though. Red, golden, red and golden. Remaining chunks of green, dark and light. Some hues of orange, probably brown. I shouldn't be complaining - it's beautiful enough. At least the scenery changes, differing from the norm. 

Things never change much back in Malaysia. The buildings were similar, and the colors were just...constant.

No differences. No changes.

That had been utterly boring. If I had to put things into perspective, I'd say that Malaysia was too boring a place for me despite the vibrant city and huge population. Perhaps it was because many people were the same. Not many had an opinion of their own - and those who had it were rare, and very much appreciated whenever philosophical topics were brought up in conversations. 

The people here are...different. They learn and accept things as they go, and are mostly friendly to the new people they meet. I'm not even referring to just the few friends around me anymore - simple things like the bus driver asking me how my day went, or me knocking on a lecturer's window every morning and have him wave in a friendly manner back to me - they're just things that feel warm and comforting - kind of like being in a huge, colorful bubble that you don't ever want to see bursting. 

But the bubble must burst in the end, and that much I know. 

While I sit here waiting for the computing test time to arrive, I count the hours to the release of SPM results as well. The time difference would be inconvenient, me fidgeting here while the others would be just waking up and getting ready to go. 

SPM results, no matter how shitty they could be, would not affect my future. No, no, it wouldn't - but it would certainly affect my self-confidence. Nasty impact, that would be. I have never been too used to the idea of failure. That concept was just simply unacceptable. 

How would the results be like? 

Would I make my parents (and myself) proud, or would I end up isolating myself in a corner cursing my worthlessness?

Well, we shall see. 

Just a few more hours.

Yayness.

Right. 

After all the chaos of my dad not being able to find his passport, my bags being overweight, the frustration of not being able to squeeze everything etc -

I'm finally. Going. Over.

Yeah. Like...finally.

I'm still calm.

Very calm.

Just a little anxious - or so I think. Well, Anne, don't complain. You wanted this, so, heck, I'm so going to go for this without any regrets.

I'm not sure when's the next time I can update, but hopefully, it will be soon. 

First, I'll fly over, visit my sister and brother, before heading over to my host family.

AND OH THE PHOTOBOOK FINALLY CAME LIKE JOYYYY.

And I'm doing last-minute mass-downloading, just because I can. 

Here goes!

Soon?

Just around a week or so to go. 

I should be the one being anxious, but my mum's the one who's having all the frazzled nerves.

It's not like I don't appreciate her being worried for me, but at the same time, I want to tell her that I no longer am a child. My worried mum was wondering whether I would be able to adapt - to which my brother came up with several interesting theories of what exactly my mum may be worried about.

"I wonder what she would be worried about," my brother said, feigning innocence. "Hmm...maybe she's worried that you can't speak English!"

I had to control myself from facelanding into my lunch.

"Or maybe she's worried that you won't be able to take a bus!"

"And," I said darkly, "Just whose fault was that?"

My parents fell silent. They were the ones who had grounded me during my high school days - so worried were they for my safety, that despite my above average results - they grounded me and restricted my movement. I had only managed to take a few buses (the typical U66) to MidValley with my friends throughout my teenage years - and even that, I had to do sneakily.

My brother continued on. "Maybe...she's worried that you won't be able to take the cold food there. All the milk, and cereal..."

"That's bullshit, and you know it," I deadpanned.

"She's worried that you'll get lost." 

I sighed. "Oh, I forgot, my English happens to be - incompetent, is it? Apparently, I can't even ask for proper directions. How retarded of me."

I wanted to scream that there would definitely be a solution for everything. Worried about not being to wake up? Get a few extra clocks and set some loud shit as my phone alarm. Worried about being cold? Bring as much woollies as I can. Worried about not being able to speak English? Wait, no - that wasn't right, was it?

I knew what I was capable - or incapable of. I knew I hadn't had much experience when it came to dealing with muggers, drunks, or whatnot, but I was proud enough to say that I was streetwise enough to not pick any candies from strangers...or...er...anything along those lines. I had a mind equipped with all sort of screwed up logic - logic which, if used correctly, could be deadly to others. 

And oh, I was pretty certain I could pass off as a helpless Asian if necessary. The sympathy game, you know?

I placed my can of beer down on the table, to which my mum said, "You should get your brother to choose some new shoes for you."

And to which I cleverly replied, "I don't need his help to choose a bloody goddamn pair of shoes."

My mum sighed, knowing that allowing me to have a Carlsberg wasn't the smartest idea ever - and yet, she couldn't stop me from grabbing one. I was bitchy just like that.

"She's preparing for her OE," my brother enthusiastically supplied.

I frowned. "OE?"

He grinned.

"The Overseas Experience."

I smiled, knowing that I could barely wait.

CNY

 As stated above.

The journey back to Kedah was one heck of a stress-inducer. It took us nine hours before we finally reached. The jam was insanity. My parents were reaching their limit, and I could only bury my head in a pillow at the backseat. No driver's license, which means no help from me. Nope, none at all - and my brother wasn't up to driving my mother's huge car.

But yeah, the point is that we did make it in the end.

Since there was a market not too far away from where we lived, we checked that out in the morning before lunch.

These stuff are much cheaper in the Kedah market compared to PJ.

Pictures first, longer narration after that.

 Two bottles of nail polish - and only RM6. The remover is RM1. Yes, I'm serious.

 A new watch since I've used my old one for many, many years.

This girl here is Japanese, and she just married into the family!

Possibly one of the most memorable CNYs I've ever had.

Was it because I knew that I would be leaving soon?

Perhaps.

Things were memorable - in both the good and bad.

For the most part, I felt really bad. I honestly didn't want anything extra from my relatives (I mean, a little extra is fine, but when it goes overboard...you'd wish to jump into a hole, too), and things just got awkward over the money-pushing.

Scene One

An aunt gave me a sheet of paper. 

"Here, this is from your uncle. He's too paiseh to give it to you, though."

I accepted the paper, wondering whether it was a note or something - and noticed it was a bank draft.

With my name on it.

With several zeroes to spare.

"But this," I said weakly, "This is in New Zealand dollars!"

Her smile was serene. "Yes, it is."

It had taken her an extra fifteen minutes to convince me to finally take the paper - and that was only because she told me that it would be difficult to return the money back to my uncle's account.

I didn't even want to think of what I could buy with it. All I knew was that I wanted to stow it away in my NZ bank account as soon as possible, and not touching it for a long, long time.

Scene Two

"Here, Li Anne, take this and go shopping."

I stared at another aunt dumbly, accepting the cash she had placed into my hands. "Shopping?"

"Shopping, yes," she said, looking confused. "Buy something you'd like for yourself before going over. Maybe some clothes?"

I hope she won't get upset if she ever finds out that I'll be shopping in LowYat, and not in Pyramid, with her money.

Conversations were mostly revolving around the standard topics, mainly a basic catch-up of what everyone was doing throughout the year. Among the frequent questions that were asked would be about my future, of course. I smiled and answered as politely as I could, noticing that they weren't exactly enthusiastic about my choice.

Scene Three

"So, what will you be doing?"


"Foundation in Arts," I said, realizing that all of them were now looking at me. 


And the aunts and uncles raised their eyebrows. The uncle said, "Foundation in Arts?" He slurred it, like some sort of muck under a shiny, expensive Armani shoe. "Well, my daughter here," he patted his daughter's arm, "Would like to do Medicine in the future - New Zealand too."


I pitied the daughter immensely. She looked bored and spiteful. 


She needed a dream, a certain direction. I just wish I could have told her that. Dreams made a huge difference.


Said uncle was not done. "So where will you be staying then?"


"Home-staying with a Kiwi family," I answered.


"Oh-ho. So there are people who cook meals for you? You're pretty pampered, aren't you?"

I didn't stand up, yell, or do anything of that sort. No, of course not. I merely smiled at him, and asked him sharply, "What?"


To which he had laughed and said, "Never mind."

I had already known.

For a long time, I knew. That no one took the idea of me becoming a writer seriously. I knew, I knew, I always did. And yet, it didn't matter - in the face of humiliation, it didn't matter whether you expected it or not - the mere act of having people so openly opposing you was irritating, not to mention hurtful.


In reality, of course, what I had wanted to say was, "I'm just a little different. At least I have a dream to fulfill, unlike you bunch of wankers over here."

My parents had told me that it was a waste of a brain to pursue Arts.

Which I, too, knew.

It wasn't as if I was that brilliant or anything. I was never able to match up with the smartest students in school, nor was I the one who bagged the most prizes for competitions. Heck, I was on the verge of failing Add Math. The only thing I felt proud about was being able to juggle the duties of a president and studies together (okay, with the exception of Add Math, I was doing fine with the rest) - while taking up piano, consistently writing in my spare time, and playing adviser to anyone who needed it.

And really, that was about the most that I did. No outstanding achievements, no earth-shattering news.

But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I had the determination and the guts. The determination to commit some screwed-up act, and the guts to acknowledge my own faults when it really, well, screws up.

I don't know.

I don't.

But anyway.


As mentioned, a cousin of mine had also recently married a Japanese girl. She came to Malaysia, and had joined us for one of the CNY visits.

It's not like anyone minded, but they were all ignoring her.The room was filled with excited chatters of both the young and the old, and the atmosphere was...well, just cheery. Or, it was supposed to be. I was one of the few who had gotten a little too irritated for any sort of conversation, so I had slipped into a corner, where I could observe the room quietly without appearing too anti-social (my mum always complained about that, especially when I was younger. At that time, I didn't see the point of building connections, or using them yet). Everyone seemed to be talking to someone, so that was fine...oh, wait.

The Japanese girl wasn't talking to anyone.

Or, more exactly, no one was talking to her.

She was sitting there alone with her hands folded, staring emptily into space, looking bored and awkward as can be. I noted that she was pretty, and quite young. Why wasn't anyone attempting to initiate a conversation with her? Why were they ignoring her? She was now part of the family, after all. What my relatives were doing was plain rude, and I didn't like it at all.

I knew how it felt like to be truly alone in a sea of conversation. I understood the loneliness, the disconcerting feeling. And that was when I made up my mind. Language barrier, age difference or not - it didn't matter. Someone had to make the first move, and I would do it.

And so I introduced myself to her with a little Japanese, feeling thankful that I had a year's worth of Japanese lessons and many hours of anime-watching experiences. And the most surprising thing was that she answered me in English, telling me that my Japanese was good. I raised an eyebrow - so she could speak English. All the more so that the rest of the people should have talked to her!

The rest of the conversation was mainly introductions - where we were from, our families, our circumstances - things like that. It wasn't anything special, but I could see that she genuinely appreciated the fact that I noticed - and spoke to her.

I also found out during this CNY that in reality, I have several Thai descendants. Which would mean that I'm part-Thai. Was I surprised? Very. Sure, it wasn't as if it would affect me in the future, but to me - well, if it was part of the family heritage, then it would have been prudent to tell me earlier on instead of dumping it on me randomly in the car. But really, Thai? Well, to be honest, it shouldn't have been that surprising. After all, Kedah is close to Thailand. I wouldn't have minded being part Portuguese, though. Imagine have Portuguese looks. I don't particularly look Thai. I look like - well, a freaking Chinese. Minus the extreme slit-eyes (which only occurs when I laugh hilariously as if the world's about to end and I have to close to my eyes due to the extreme hilarity of the situation) and minus the Chinese slang due to where I was brought up, of course.

Just...ugh. 

Other than that, CNY was pretty much an enjoyable affair. There were fireworks, laughter, gambling (shame that I never mastered the art of chor dai di), and I even clinked wineglasses with my mum on the eve of CNY. There were steamboats, loads of amazing hawker food, oranges, fizzy drinks, junk food, and all sort of CNY paraphernalia that one would expect.

It just might be my last CNY here in Malaysia, and that's why I will never, ever forget it.

Sixteen more days.

Happy Chinese New Year.

I'll be off to Kedah from tomorrow onwards (21/1/12) till next Wednesday (25/1/12).

This time's CNY will be a whole lot more different. Many relatives from all over the world (think UK, Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Australia, etc) - which would mean more people and extra festivities. Since there's only a few more weeks until I leave for New Zealand, I just know that all my curious relatives will be asking the few popular questions - e.g. when are you leaving? What will you be studying? What are your future plans? Why aren't you doing A-Levels in Malaysia? Well, all I have to do is smile politely, answer reasonably, and be incredibly patient. Hey, it's CNY after all. 

I'm happy that my brother's home for CNY. He flew in last night from Auckland - it was a spontaneous decision of his, apparently. We spoke for a long time - just catching up, you know, and gossiping about the things that have been happening around. We talked and talked until four in the morning - and I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I guess I did miss him. 

Have I packed? Yeah. It'll be a five-hour drive back home tomorrow, and I have a feeling that since it's the weekend things will be chaotic on the road - especially at Tapah, Ipoh, Juru - those areas.

There's a lot I want to blog about, of course - especially about the outrageous news I heard about Megaupload being shut down, and not being able to download in New Zealand. These have totally ruined my mood for CNY. 

I haven't had the time to finish my older existing fan-fiction. 

Or start out on the new one that I was planning so much for.

I haven't gotten the portable hard disk, nor the iPod that I've been aiming for the past few weeks. I haven't been to LowYat yet, and there's still quite a few things to sort out. In fact, I have no idea which to put on my priority list anymore.

I need more time. 

But first, time to head back home.

Have a happy CNY, mates.  

Especially to those, who aren't in Malaysia anymore.

Tightening your hold.

If I could write something so heart-wrenching that it would make one despair, sympathize, and terrified at the same time, then it would mean that I have succeeded.

I have decided.

For my next fan-fiction, I will write it with all my heart and soul - and dedicate it to all the hurt ones out there. 

By the way,

SOPA and PIPA can go to hell. 

Facepalm

That's how you do it.

Anyway, it was a morning.

A real early morning.

I had slept for only an hour or so - was watching some anime series on my laptop until six in the morning. The addict in me has seriously low resistance when it comes to a good story plot and hot guys with cool weapons.

So. My parents barged into my room and demanded I hike Gasing Hill with them. Basically, I wanted to scream bloody murder.

Pft. Like they were going to let me slip away that easily. There was no choice - and since I hadn't had a proper pair of sports shoes for a long time, all I could put on were my Converse sneakers. Not really appropriate for serious hiking, but well - chances of backing out were slim to none.

My stamina was fine. I shot a "how-dare-you-even-underestimate-me" look at my parents, who were the ones lagging behind instead when they thought I would be the one giving up halfway. Seriously, I know I'm always in my room - connected to some virtual hole in the Internet, but hey -  that didn't mean I was going to puff and pass out in just a few steps. Walking just wasn't my freaking hobby. My Converse sneakers weren't doing too badly (considering the grip was pretty bull), but if I wasn't careful, I could've slipped and twisted my foot. Or end up rolling down with a nice little concussion to boot. That would make January pretty special, hey?

The whole place was awfully dusty. And muddy. Tree branches, leaves, all sort of forest-y paraphernalia. I sneezed, frantically rubbing my eyes before I lost my balance and tripped over some troll slope. 

Note to self - never rub eyes so carelessly again. Especially if there might be dust, mud or sand in those tiny invisible particles.

I spent the entire afternoon trying to escape from my dad who insisted that I put eye drops. I must have looked like a drugged vampire with bloodshot eyes. Not even Mapling for twenty-one hours or having a week of insomnia did that to me.

Night came.

My mum was insistent that I help her deal with the mess that she had caused.

Basically, there were around fifty piles of differently-assorted Chinese New Year cookies, and I had to sort them out, labeling them in accordance of the orders of her colleagues. Goodness me. She was a university director, not a freaking cookie distributor! A few piles were fine with me, but - fifty?

Besides, I had no damn idea what Suji cookies looked like. And when I dropped the cookie jug while walking to the car, all hell broke loose.

Hey, it wasn't my fault. The bricks were getting in my way.

When it was finally over, I plopped onto my bed miserably - wondering how the day could get any worse. Trying to cheer myself up, I turned the laptop on and began surfing.

That was when I heard the steady dripping.

I looked down, only to find my laptop was bloodstained.

Oh...shit.

Minutes later, I sat around grumpily - with an icepack on my forehead. I had nosebleeds frequently when I was younger - they were always caused by dry, hot weather - coupled with the internal rise of body temperature. However, however - I hadn't been having any nosebleeds for the past two years. Having one at that current moment was, frankly speaking, shocking. I should have outgrown that by now.

Thinking that everything had settled, I stood up - only to send the ice cubes tumbling out of the handkerchief onto the floor like broken cookie crumbs.

Joyful day indeed.

Happy birthday, Tjia Hwei.

I was supposed to meet Qi and Tjia Hwei at twelve at Sunway Pyramid.

Instead, I found myself at Sunway Pyramid alone, with text messages telling me that they would be late.

I was supposed to get some series from Tjia Hwei as well, so I had to bring my laptop around. Thank goodness I had a backpack for it, and I had dressed accordingly for the damn occasion. The military-style pants were probably out of fashion already, but heck - I could care less. In fact, I felt pretty comfortable dressing like that - I could take large strides without anyone thinking that I was insane.

I had nothing to do, so I walked around. I checked my wallet - and dang, I should have brought some extra cash along - but that was all I had, and I had to deal. Chatime's bubble tea was calling out to me tantalizingly, and so was all the other sorts of food that Pyramid had to offer. Fu. It was then that I remembered that it was Tjia Hwei's birthday, and I hadn't gotten him a present.

Ah, heck. I was planning on having donuts for lunch anyway.

I was just thinking something along the lines of, "Could my day get any worse?" when of course, life decided to accept the challenge. 

I had paused outside Esquire Kitchen to look at the menu (yes, I was comparing prices - budget, remember?) when I heard someone yell my name. I looked up, and to my horror, it was my mum, in all her work clothes, dragged me into the restaurant and promptly introduced me to her colleague. They then proceeded to interrogate me - why was I alone? Why had I brought my laptop along? Where were my friends?

Ugh. My mum, my working mum, was in a shopping mall having a meal. At the very least, the money for my lunch was paid by them. I didn't have to eat donuts for lunch, and I managed to pick-up some juicy secrets about the university. 

Pretty well worth it. 

Anyway, Qi and Tjia Hwei finally showed up. I shoved the present at him, and then we proceeded to Papparich for some coffee. It was too late for a movie anyway. So, yeah, the transferring of series to my laptop took a long time. It took too long, in fact. My laptop battery KO-ed even before the thing could finish transferring. We tried our best to make the battery drag out as long as possible, but even then it just didn't work. I should have brought my charger along, but never mind that.

And, I wish they would stop fiddling with my laptop all the time. When I arrived home, I realized that all my icons had been shifted to the right. Even at Sunway Pyramid, they commented on all sorts of things on my laptop - how I adjusted my resolution, how I had so many weird programs that I wouldn't need...goodness, I wanted to knock my head against a wall.

Hey, you two. I know you will read this. Next time, just lay off my laptop. You have your own PCs/laptops to play around with - okay? Okay?

Actually, it was more of Tjia Hwei's fiddling than anything else...get the idea, Qi?

Despite that, we managed to crack a few good jokes together. 

The slightly geeky jokes, yeah.

After that, we just walked around. We went to visit one of these anime shops. I was looking around at the anime DVDs, and seeing what kind of merchandise they had. 

And me being a Fullmetal Alchemist fan...

If you're familiar with the series, you'd realize that this is the spear that Edward (not the Cullen. This Ed is way cooler than that sparkly ass - besides, does Ed the Cullen even attempts to use a spear?) transmutes for himself.

Believe it or not, it's pretty damn sharp. I scraped my knee a few times with it when I placed the backpack on my legs.

And then since Diva was selling off their stuff for a cheaper price, I decided to check it out. Qi and Tjia Hwei came along, and I swear they were the most tactless men I've ever seen. That Tjia Hwei made so many odd comments. Qi and him laughed so loud until I commanded them to behave themselves, and they made me put on hairbands with polka dots. I felt like a doll. An irritated one. But anyway, I settled for buying this necklace. It came with a pair of earrings, but I never wore any, so for now I'm still wondering who to give them to.

Yeah, and then I walked back to Sunway University (despite Tjia Hwei's persistent efforts in wanting to send me back home). Waited outside my mum's office for a little while, then went back home with her. 

Despite the un-enjoyable moments (of waiting, mental cursing, et cetera), thanks for all the series - and happy birthday, Tjia Hwei.

You better use the damn present I gave to you.

The haul.

The Christmas Sales were amazing. 

Strawberry-patterned bedroom slippers are the love. There were other pairs with different patterns - polka-dots, roses, lines - but I opted for this one instead.

 I fell in love with the cardigan as soon as I saw it. 

The lucky thing is that since I have an elder sister, I don't have to buy so many winter stuff. In fact, when I went over to her flat last year, I already chose what to inherit and what not to. They're all piled up in this box, waiting for me to grab 'em as soon as I reach there next month. Can't wait. 

And with that, comes new gadgets. I've never exactly posted pictures, so...

The Olympus E-PL2. Accused by a senior of being a point-and-shoot camera when he first heard of it, resulting in me defending its integrity. Heck, like I'd confuse an SLR and a point-and-shoot. But anyway, I'm not going to go all out and buy lenses. I have a maximum baggage weight of twenty kilograms, and extra camera lenses won't help at all. But in the future, who knows? Maybe an amateur like me might get more and more hooked onto photography.

Yep, just a regular Dell Inspiron - which is good enough for me. I love the color black - it just makes the whole thing look even more sleek and sexy - although this allows the dust motes to be seen on it quite easily. 

There are a few other things I have to buy before going over. For one, a music player. Well - maybe I don't have to - I mean, my old one is still usable. But oh, I want to get one of those mini speakers - those tiny little round ones. Then I definitely need to get a portable hard drive. My Seagate is running out of space. I blame the onslaught of anime I chucked into it. 

Nope, I can't be bothered to get a Mac. I previously never had laptops to begin with - so this is good enough. And the previous camera I had was a discounted Sony Cybershot.

Like I'd complain. I sure as hell wouldn't.

Grandpa's Birthday - Family Gathering

Yeah, well. It was totally female time with Winnie - with Max being the one to snap the photos.

She's my best cousin (Max, you too. I look forward to having free cruises from you after you become a marine biologist - wait, does that relate to the current discussion?) - and is absolutely fun to hang around with.

When I was younger, I always pestered my mum to allow me to stay over at their house. We'd fawn over comics, cartoons, and play baseball at their parents' room. It's a wonder that we never broke anything. I do remember tripping over many things, though.

Oh, how time has passed. We used to be so adorable - and then we grew up.

Which may not be such a bad thing either. 

So, yeah. Family gathering, along with grandpa's birthday. They all crashed my house happily, which took us many days to clear up so that it'd look "presentable" to them. I lost count the number of times mum screamed at me to "put the chairs nicely" or to "clear the computer area". Basically, all the places that I worked around at contained the mess. I'm a messy person by nature. 

Max has gotten himself a new Sony DSLR. Like, daaaamn. Absolutely hot.Kicks the ass of my Olympus anytime - but I still like mine better, simply because it's easier to carry around.

 The three of us had to play the piano as usual for all the guests. I swear, it's a family tradition. Not that I'm complaining, but I've gotten real rusty in it. The both of them, on the other hand, rocked the piano per usual.

Birthday cakes, pizza, roast duck, salted chicken, curry - yeah, food - glorious food. 

Max, Winnie and I played Monopoly Deal later. Still not familiar with that - I always forget, and there's no one to play with me at home anyway. 

Yeah, and that was that.

Other updates - 

Fees for Foundation in Arts, paid. Proof of payment, gotten it. Reply to University of Canterbury in Christchurch, done. Long emails to USA acquaintances, done. Books - most of them have been passed to juniors, all that's left is one more pile for a friend on Gerko Day. Beta-reading - done, too. 

Other urgent things to do -
Update Tertiary bank account. Email the S@S people and University of Otago. Meet Tjia Hwei and Qi Ren on Tuesday. Head to school on Gerko Day this Friday. Return to Kedah during CNY. Pack, pack, pack. Finalization of other issues. Faster clear out stuff. Anyone willing to help  me keep those slightly spicy mangas I've bought from manhwacheng? I seriously need to do something with those. PHOTO-BOOK PHOTO-BOOK PHOTO-BOOK - damn, I have to finish up that too.

 And my readers on Fanfiction.net are getting edgy. I'm sorry. Procrastination is just a talent of mine.

Till then.