Here we go again.

What are you dreaming of?

In just two months, I have realized just how much more cynical I've become when it comes to world issues. Thank you Law, thank you Politics. You have made me become a pessimist, especially when world tensions are concerned. It's not my fault that I've started viewing things from a different perspective, it just happens. 

I dream of a far away place where we used to be.

The number of assignments I've been having...damn. In two weeks, I've had to write essays worth 4k words, and in the next two weeks there'd be more essays and legal opinions to do. While I love what I'm studying at the moment, the amount of research necessary for these essays are a real pain. Nevertheless, university life is still more enjoyable than high school life - and it always will be, no matter what happens. 

I dream of a far away place where we could go to.

The people here are nice - immensely so. The days are filled with dinners, tea in the kitchens, gym days, theme parties, tests, assignments, lectures, day outs, and all sorts of other student-related activity that one can think of. There are blossoming romances, love-hate relationships, and just the sort of thing you can expect to happen when you chuck students together in a hall. But I love it, I really do. 

If you do not come to me, I will go to you.

So much to do, so little time. Coffee tomorrow with the peeps, dinner with an old mate - church on Sundays, maybe? May God save me from my sins. Procrastinating on the work, going through a routine, picking out outfits...

Let us help each other out.

IT'S P, BITCHES.

I returned to Malaysia only for a few reasons, and one of them includes learning how to drive.

The experience sucked balls. Srsly. 

Anyway, it was just this Monday that I had my JPA test. I waited and waited, cursing smokers who puffed into my face. Time ticked by. I walked around, sighed at the sky, played Temple Run for the 5353233290th time, read Anne of Green Gables with a British accent in my head...

Yeah.

The QTI test went just as how I had planned it, so that was fine. 

The road test, however...

Again, waiting for my turn was another long process. I actually fell asleep while waiting. Yeah, on that stupid plastic chair. I've known all this while that I have a talent for sleeping in random places (lecture halls, bus stops, sleeping while standing - you name it, I've done it) - but this was seriously a new record. I had crammed Anne of Green Gables into my bag, tilted my head into a comfortable position, and slept in a strange place filled with strange people and strange, strange languages.

I did wake up after that of course - only to hear some boys behind talking about...me.

"Eh, memang tidur." 

"No, wait, she's waking up."

"Gooooood moooooorninggggg sleeping beauty..."

Those bloody wankers. How would they like it if someone slammed a heel into their balls, only to hear others gossip about it huh?

And then it was my turn for the road test.

My tester was a Malay lady. 

With sunglasses.

With a bitchy frown. 

The first thing that crossed my mind was, "I'm fucked." 

The first thing she bellowed to me was, "WHY'S YOUR EXAMINATION FORMS SO CRUMPLED?"

I wanted to say something like, "Well bitch, I don't see why the state of my examination forms should matter to you. JUST TAKE THIS SHIT AND WE CAN GET THE SHOW ON THE ROAD."

Instead, I humiliatingly swallowed my pride and said a small "sorry." I hated myself so much then. Srsly. 

I adjusted mirrors, the seat, checked whether those signal plus wiper thingies worked, pulled my seat belt on, released the handbrakes...and off I was, cruising to my doom.

I cursed, noting that the clutch and gears of this particular car were stiff and hard to be shifted. It was way harder to use that car compared to the normal practice cars I used, which...wasn't a good sign. Well, whatever. I had to deal with it. I signaled right and went slowly, knowing that there was a slope that led up to the main road. Cars were all waiting to turn out, so I got in line and crawled behind.

...

That was when the engine sputtered and died.

....

And that was when I knew I was truly fucked.

Strangely enough, I was as calm as some meditating tropical lagoon zen-man. The tester wasn't saying anything so I quietly turned the engine on, raced up the hill, and quickly turned out before I screwed up some more.

The rest of my driving was pretty much a wreck. I nearly got the gears mixed up, stopped ungracefully in front of traffic lights, and was generally on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Potong."

Cut? Oh. She wanted me to overtake the car in front. Pretty uncharacteristic for a test, but whatever. I heard her make a satisfied "hm", and was pleased with myself...

...until I saw the traffic lights up ahead turn yellow.

She urged me on impatiently. "GO, GO, GO!"

WHADDAFUCK.

I floored the accelerator like some madman.

AND THEN I PASSED THE JPA TEST.

Did I do the unmentionable? Yes, I did the unmentionable. Malaysians, I'm sure y'all know what I mean. I'm sorry for fueling the huge wrong that our country has, but I was under time constraints and had to get my P asap. As such, I needed an insurance policy. 

But whatever. I'm a P. 

Now I can happily head for a New Zealand driving license without taking too many driving lessons there. 

Mission: Learning how to drive

Passed

Life as it is, life as it was.

It's about time I updated a little with some photos to boot - because, heck, not updating for such a long time doesn't seem like me - even with such a busy schedule.

The exams are finally over. To be honest, it wasn't too stressful. I mean, come on. As a former CHS-ian that juggled with twelve subjects, how could five push me to the brink of insanity? I guess this is one of the benefits of coping with through the exhausting high school years - get screwed up with all the junk, and survive happily later.

But anyway. Five subjects or not, studying was still necessary. And I mean, studying with the food was necessary. Witness the chips. They're like, $2.20 for the medium and $2.60 for the large. And it's obtainable just by walking to the library's opposite shops!

 And if there's one thing amazing about the central library here, you can book group study rooms that have these boards here for you. The annoying issue is that during the exam season - everyone - and by that, I mean all the university students, want to use these rooms. Seriously, competition is intense during this period of time - it's like the season where there would be no places available for you in the library, and you'd have to arrive at 8am in the morning just to find a place to sit. 

But anyway, those are like, our fail Geography revisions on the board. My map of New Zealand looks like a potato.

And now...Renaissance Rapier. Much love, much love.

Hey, anything's possible. 

Strike a pose, fellas. Anne being the only Asian there stands up for friggin' Asian pride - and for being, like, the smallest there.

 ASIAN PRIDE - okay, that's probably more apt for Kendo or something.

Then there were the snow days. 

I had been expecting some snow, but not that early in June. Being in New Zealand quite often when I was younger made me know that snow just didn't come during this time. 

So when the weather forecast said it would snow, I smiled - my host mum smiled - all of us just did, because we didn't expect it to actually snow.

But in the morning, I drew the curtains only to see blinding white covering the grass. I didn't know whether to scream or cry. Buses just didn't come up to the mountain where I lived on days like these - but thankfully, in the end, bus services weren't suspended because the workers had done their best to shovel the snow away. Accidents were aplenty around the Christchurch region, though, and nearby my area there were cars that had slipped and crashed into each other. Basically, it was a crazy morning where there were police cars everywhere. How I managed to get to the city after that was a miracle. Thank you, bus drivers. 

Oh, and this is Patches looking at the snow. He's such a regal fluff ball. That's why I like him, and that's why I don't as well.

 Yeah, when I saw this I basically went wtf.

So now that the exams are over...there are a whole lot of stuff I need to do. Starting out with...entertainment!

I don't know what the fuck has been possessing me to rent DVDs from the video rental shop. Now that I look back at it, it's fucking crazy. I pay for it, and get back home to realize that three episodes aren't working. I mean, seriously. What, the, fuck? Anne, New Zealand may have been good for you, but some parts of it are really screwing with your mind. If not for the fact that I'm living off someone's wifi and that any legal charges will go to them, I wouldn't be doing this shit. 

But anyway, Code Geass is good. Seriously.

After that, I'll have to catch up with my stories.

And apply for that magazine writing job...because I think I actually do stand a chance.

And to clear out all those junk paper from my room. I'm planning to recycle all those lecture notes because - heck, not gonna need them for the next semester. 

And of course, I'm seriously thinking of doing something with my hair that would make my parents consider disowning me.

We shall see.

The exams

Never liked them, and never will.

If there's one thing I've found out, studying in a group doesn't really help. I thought that since I'm no longer in high school, things would have been different - but in the end, humans are just the same. You end up talking with each other instead of really focusing on what should be focused on.

Not to mention that when every single person brings snacks along, the consequences can get pretty - er - unhealthy. 

I had brought strawberry-flavored Pocky and candy. Zeneviive had brought along gummy snakes and fried rice. Christy had brought an entire bag of candy, with pineapple tarts and more candy. Willa brought along some candy - and Emma had brought an entire tupperware of blackcurrent-flavored jelly for everyone to share - not to mention that after two hours of basically not-doing-much, Christy and Willa went out to get chips and brought some back for everyone. 

Zeneviive claimed the food sent me into the 'holy' mode - which was basically just me praising the, well, holiness of chips.

It was an overdose of food and sugar. 

Fucking candy. Too much fucking candy.

I mean, we had one corner of the table dedicated to snacks, for goodness sake. 

As each person could only book a group-study room for only two hours, all of us had wisely cooperated and booked the room back-to-back - resulting in, like, an ownership of the room from 12pm until 10pm. 

Which would have been fantastic, except that I'm not interested into going for any group-studying from now onwards.

Sometimes the individualist method just works better. 

So, yeah - the exams will begin tomorrow and will end the week after. 

Not that I can say it's more stressful than high school, because it isn't. Nothing can beat slaving over twelve subjects in the CHS days.

I will be fine. I know I will. Sometimes all I need is some confidence, and the hard work. 

After that there will be a two-week break - which will give me lots of time to write about things I've always wanted to write - eg: the pros and cons of working in a group for assignments, more Renaissance Rapier stuff, stuff about family, friends and relationships, anime (because - bloody hell, it makes me happy) et cetera. 

And I could have time to write for TheFourLobes. 

And I would apply for a writing job on the Creme magazine - because, heck, let's face it, I need to start out somewhere. 

And I could watch anime for an entire day and write my stories. And draw. And hang out.

 I can't wait.