Raindrops and flowers

The only thing that's constant is change. You get wrapped up in so many uncertainties - there's the urge to fling yourself out of the window, diving into the clouds and rainbows below - and yet you know, too, that you could land on something that may kill you. You fear the change since you're so unsure of the future, but at the same time you can't help but eagerly anticipate the things that are to come. It happens - your original goals sway a little, you lose sight of what's important for a second - you get confused on what's right and what's wrong. There are, however, no judgements from others - they can't pass any, not unless you tell them and allow them to judge you. 

It's all just a part of living - I say that to myself, mates, and others around me. They look up to me and listen - Anne, you are the voice of reason. You're so in control of your life that it hurts. There's nothing wrong about you, you're doing well in life - with a goal, a vision, a dream and everything you could possibly have. What more could you want? Are you possibly so fickle that you cannot even be satisfied with life's blessings? Why do you not appreciate the little things that happen everyday - why do you not love like you should, why do you not care? Anne, you are so fucking fickle. Get a grip! 

There are responsibilities, and Anne, you are responsible. You are responsible for every damn thing you do in life. People do not pity you for they know how headstrong you are in things, they know just how you are when you make decisions - rushed, irrational. There is not much to be pitied there - Anne, you are fickle. After wondering about this for so many years, you can reach your happy conclusion. You are as fickle as the many shallow-minded people out there and someday, the mighty you will fall. Perhaps it is best that you mentally prepare yourself for the day when your tiara goes out of place. You might've been a queen to them, but you're nothing without your pride. If it will be ripped to shreds, then that's how it is. There is nothing that can be done - nothing that can be salvaged. You took the gamble - now you fucking live with it. 

That is all - plain and simple. 

 

...

Thailand's coming up next week! The past few months have been hectic as hell. I envy those who have been lazing around, having nothing to do. For me, it's always going 'round here, there, everywhere...not that I mind, though. I'm the traveler - gotta love traveling, especially when it's paid for. Going to Singapore was great - more of a business trip, actually, but it was through that that I got to meet Kenji, an old mate of mine that I've known for quite some time. We had snacks, walked around Orchard Road, and just sat on a bench listening to cool tunes while we ranted to each other about our lives. I had expected it to be awkward, but it wasn't in the end. What would you know - we ended up bonding pretty quickly. It was nice to see him - got as many hugs as I could.

No positive responses from what I've applied to? Oh, well, at least I tried. I'll try and try and try until I die. Sure, it gets disheartening, but whatever. I'll do that shitty hairflip and just try again next time. 

I really should do a to-do list. Like, make an actual fucking budget, instead of some lame-o one that doesn't make sense. Must get parents to pay my fees soon. Must drive around more often. What else, what else...gotta send those new clothes for washing...gotta write more shit...update stories...keep applying for more of those writing jobs because that's probably the only thing I can do...pack for Thailand...hmm, I don't know. There sure are lots of things to do. Entertain boyfriend? I don't have the time. See, Anne, you're nuts.

How the hell can people be bored at home? It makes no fucking sense.

Bye!

OFF TO ITALY.

Will be back on...uh. Close to Christmas. 22nd of December, I think. Contact me then!

New Zealand - Day Nine (15/12/11)

It was a calm, relaxing day where we went for a cruise around the Bay of Islands.

Yeah, start humming "Paradise" by Coldplay - because it certainly felt like paradise.

It was thankfully sunny with blue skies today - which made photography really enjoyable.

And then we saw dolphins. Since these little taukes were so sneaky, I literally camped by the side of the ship for quite some time just to get several shots of them - all which didn't turn out that well. These dolphins wouldn't jump up too high, they'd just skim around the water, rub their bellies against the ship - and at most leap a little off the water.

But dang, they were so c-u-t-e. I swear, they were cuter than any guy I've ever seen in my entire life. I was half-tempted to leave everything and dive down the water to swim with them - assuming if I can even swim in the first place.

Nothing much happened after that - but it was time to return to the mainland of Auckland. My parents were going to fly off to Dunedin the next day for my brother's graduation, and I had to fly back home to Malaysia.

New Zealand - Day Eight (14/12/11)

It would be the wildest day in the whole trip ever.

Ever heard of sand-tobogganing - or, in simple terms, sand surfing?

Anyway, we visited Cape Reinga in the morning. It's the most Northern part of New Zealand, and from there we were supposed to see the the meeting point of two oceans. Unfortunately, we were presented with the crappiest weather ever. No, I couldn't see any sea. I couldn't even see the lighthouse clearly. Visibility was limited to a few metres at most - it was like a serious version of Genting with thick mist and raging winds.

So much for summer. I was the only one who didn't bring a parka - a raincoat - or anything waterproof along with me. While my parents were safe and sound with their plastic windbreakers, my jacket was soaked.

 Yeah, well...

Then came the wild part of the day - sand surfing.

 All hail Anne, the amateur sand surfer who rolled off the sand hill with board in hand.

No, really. The wind was that strong. Now, that normally wouldn't be a problem, but the board seemed to like the wind a lot. Whenever the wind blew, I had to clamp my fingers down on the board tightly so as the ensure the board didn't fly along with the wind. And mind you, climbing up the sand hill with socks was tough - probably due to the grip, I guess. I deftly threw the socks to one side and staggered up the hill, using the board as an anchor. There were a few times where I really wanted to just quit and back the hell down - but hey, there was no way I would just quit like that. The most important part was making sure the board was in my hands - if the board flew off, God knows where'd it go.

I had to lie on the board, hold on to the front part, and slide down on the slope.

Honestly, I preferred skiing. For one, looking down the slope was a frightening experience. For another, whenever I clammed up, the results were never, never good.

The guide's strict instruction was - never to let go of the board, otherwise one would fall off the board.

And I typically let go of the board in hopes of steadying myself, only to find myself falling off (damn it, why never I listen?) and rolling downwards.

You had no idea how hard it was to get the sand off my jacket. I had to use one of those brushes to pat the dust away - and even then I still had my dirty socks and wet jackets (it was still raining, believe it or not) to deal with. My mum practically scooted away and kept a distance away from me.

We then visited the Ninety Mile Beach. Well, it was supposed to stretch out for ninety miles, but in reality it was only sixty miles. Still, it was a beautiful sight to behold as it wasn't commercialized - there were no hotels, resorts, or even any shops or restrooms. No one was allowed to build anything there - leaving the beach deserted, untouched, but incredibly breathtaking.

Of course, due to the grey sky, the photo didn't turn out that nice - but to me, it was unpolluted, calm, serene -

- and that was, perhaps, the most important thing of all.

New Zealand - Day Seven (13/12/11)

We set off for Paihia early in the morning, and which we reached late in the afternoon - but before that, we stopped by on several places for a look-see, and that would include the Waitangi Treaty Grounds.

What's important about these place? Well, it was where they signed the official documents about the formation of New Zealand. Pretty important, I'd say. And my brother couldn't answer questions about the Treaty when it came out in his Law exam - so there, important perjanjian. Not to be fooled around with.

 The flag on the left would be the original New Zealand flag many years ago, while the one on the right is the New Zealand flag we often see today. We had a guide, who was supposed to do the explaining - but he wasn't that good, and he couldn't even answer my questions properly.

Anyway.

We set off for Russell Island to see the sights, which required us to take a cruise.

I must say, I rarely wear shades - even in Malaysia - but somehow I ended up wearing them in New Zealand.

 Some friendly kids put up a traditional dancing performance for us visitors on Russell Island. Many tourists, most of them Japanese, were recording videos and looking at the kids fondly.

And these are Pohutukawa trees - more commonly known as the "New Zealand Christmas tree". They bloom mostly in the summer - and the entire island of Russell was filled with these. It was quite a rare sight seeing the mounds of red everywhere we went - and though these weren't hollies, the color resemblance was striking.

A view of Russell Island from the top.

We spent the night at one of the hotels on Russell Island - well, it was supposed to be a four-star hotel, but in many ways it didn't feel that four-star to me. Nevertheless, I didn't complain. With a hairdryer, a kettle, and the perfect electric blanket - I was more than satisfied.

Tomorrow would be one hell of an experience, but of course, I didn't know that yet.